Its been long time, since i have penned down my thoughts, about my... u know.. goals, action item, pain points etc. And i need to clear out my mind and set things straight in my mind.
First point to discuss - MIL, ofcourse.
• How is she now?
Well, some days back she was normal and she spoke to well, i mean no frowning atleast. thats a big change for me. it was like she is following some one week program like i did some times back. but this time i was not at all interested to put any effort in making this relation work, i was like fuck off bitch, u blew ur chance, and more than that i completely understood about u. u r a energy sucking bitch, u never talk anything good, anything positive, u never respect anyone. and u have a hell lot of ego. u r fit for nothing but expect d whole world to bow before u. and more than that u r a double faced bitch. u want to be an innocent, obedient, most adjusting women. but man in reality u r a villi, who just do things out of her mind. i dont wat to u say, except that u r one worst bitch i ever want to meet. all the time u yell, all the time u talk negative thing, all the time u dont smile at all, all the time u boast about urself. u never appreciate anyone or even respect. for u, u r in the center of the world. others work, others trouble.. u never care about it. u r just worried about ur self. the point is, u being such a bitch, and i understood about u, hence now, i want u out of my house. as soon as possible. please. i have no idea to make this relation ship work. the worst the better.
after trying to be normal, she started frowning again few days back. i was like.. im least interested about ur interest in me. im not going to give even a second thought about u. happy changing ur mind as u wish. today Saturday - i got up late, and was expecting some cold war... but my father in law has come and she is busy with other things, so im spared. she spoke pretty well to me. ass hole..
•How is ur job search going on?
i didnt attend any interview till now. im not attending any call also. only one call i picked up, she said she will schedule a technical interview for me, but that guy didnt call me. My preparation is progressing. i saw spring - dependency injection, AOP, Data object, Security. Struts - introduction.
Still have to read a lot, but my confidence has increased a bit now. i feel,i can read things. no problem. I still dont have the confidence to sit in any important interview.
• How is ur work in office?
i have been released for support, and i have been given new development track. im very glad for it. ppl are expecting that i will quit any day. my manager was not talking to me for few days, not not the energy in team is going up again. things are getting better at work. but i have decided to quit. just like i gave up on my MIL.
•How is ur love life?
my husband is hopeless. he is a son of a bitch. and ofcourse MIL is the biggest bitch. he is not worth my support. he is working like a dog to buy a new house, but what eve.r support im giving him, and my views sometimes conflict with my MIL views, obviously, she says no to all the damn house, and when i say yes to any house there is a clash. and my fucking husband back bite me to his mother. i was like u fucking guy, u r on my list now. and i have decided not to support him at all. and when i dont give any inputs he complain about that also to his mother, so my ultimate weapon, im going to confuse him. he can be confused very easily. and im going to do just that. I was very much down, for lack of.. u know a companion, just then, like god has answered my prayers, i got a new crush. he came and poured with appreciation and it was like a rain in the desert. i had blogged about his chat with me few days back. after that chat we chat every day - compulsory. and u know he is a big shot, but he talks to me like a child. when he pings me late, he says that he has been out for movie or shopping and came just now. i have a feeling like im starting a new relationship. im very excited these days. im smiling always. i feel self worth. yes, im little worried that it should not go out of control. but right now its helping me to smile. so, im going to go along with it. moreover im sure no such thoughts for him, guys thoughts are very simple. so i better dont complicate things. act like a guy, and there wont be any problem. and since i have a back up for support as a partner, im not getting upset with my husband these days, we have sex often after this. yes there was a dry period for less than 2 months. and knowing my husband, who shamelessly asks for it, even though we wont talk for the whole week, and he will behave like he is angry on me, and i will be like im angry on him. yes he is a shameless person, and that makes me hate him even more. anyhow... thins is how things are now, seems complicated, but works for me. good for me...
•How is ur health?
Im not eating well, and i have reduced 5kg in last one month. i have reduced eating, the food that my MIL made, when i eat less.. i get the feeling like im insulting her. in a weird way i get happiness. its simple will she eat if i cook anything, no. her ego wont allow her, and i feel bad, like she is saying my food is not good. im doing the same to her. and since i was not smiling and about to fall into depression, i lost weight. and i look pretty sad. but thanks to my new crush and change in my job track, im happy now. im putting an effort to smile and laugh as often as possible. so im looking better and thin. good for me. i will continue to eat less. i get happiness by insulting her. i will just eat that is sufficient for me, not more.
•Currently, whats on my mind?
Im putting all my energy im preparing for interview. for that last two weeks i went to office to prepare on Saturday. this weekend since my father in law came i thought i would stay, also my husband also gets angry when i go to office. for him i should do all the household work, earn lots of money, bear child, have sex with him when ever he is getting sleep, stupid person. Anyhow i will continue my studies. and will update you often.
Bye got to go, my husband called me twice to go n help my MIL. ass hole...
i will dip his tooth brush in toilet and go n help my MIL. Bye...
First point to discuss - MIL, ofcourse.
• How is she now?
Well, some days back she was normal and she spoke to well, i mean no frowning atleast. thats a big change for me. it was like she is following some one week program like i did some times back. but this time i was not at all interested to put any effort in making this relation work, i was like fuck off bitch, u blew ur chance, and more than that i completely understood about u. u r a energy sucking bitch, u never talk anything good, anything positive, u never respect anyone. and u have a hell lot of ego. u r fit for nothing but expect d whole world to bow before u. and more than that u r a double faced bitch. u want to be an innocent, obedient, most adjusting women. but man in reality u r a villi, who just do things out of her mind. i dont wat to u say, except that u r one worst bitch i ever want to meet. all the time u yell, all the time u talk negative thing, all the time u dont smile at all, all the time u boast about urself. u never appreciate anyone or even respect. for u, u r in the center of the world. others work, others trouble.. u never care about it. u r just worried about ur self. the point is, u being such a bitch, and i understood about u, hence now, i want u out of my house. as soon as possible. please. i have no idea to make this relation ship work. the worst the better.
after trying to be normal, she started frowning again few days back. i was like.. im least interested about ur interest in me. im not going to give even a second thought about u. happy changing ur mind as u wish. today Saturday - i got up late, and was expecting some cold war... but my father in law has come and she is busy with other things, so im spared. she spoke pretty well to me. ass hole..
•How is ur job search going on?
i didnt attend any interview till now. im not attending any call also. only one call i picked up, she said she will schedule a technical interview for me, but that guy didnt call me. My preparation is progressing. i saw spring - dependency injection, AOP, Data object, Security. Struts - introduction.
Still have to read a lot, but my confidence has increased a bit now. i feel,i can read things. no problem. I still dont have the confidence to sit in any important interview.
• How is ur work in office?
i have been released for support, and i have been given new development track. im very glad for it. ppl are expecting that i will quit any day. my manager was not talking to me for few days, not not the energy in team is going up again. things are getting better at work. but i have decided to quit. just like i gave up on my MIL.
•How is ur love life?
my husband is hopeless. he is a son of a bitch. and ofcourse MIL is the biggest bitch. he is not worth my support. he is working like a dog to buy a new house, but what eve.r support im giving him, and my views sometimes conflict with my MIL views, obviously, she says no to all the damn house, and when i say yes to any house there is a clash. and my fucking husband back bite me to his mother. i was like u fucking guy, u r on my list now. and i have decided not to support him at all. and when i dont give any inputs he complain about that also to his mother, so my ultimate weapon, im going to confuse him. he can be confused very easily. and im going to do just that. I was very much down, for lack of.. u know a companion, just then, like god has answered my prayers, i got a new crush. he came and poured with appreciation and it was like a rain in the desert. i had blogged about his chat with me few days back. after that chat we chat every day - compulsory. and u know he is a big shot, but he talks to me like a child. when he pings me late, he says that he has been out for movie or shopping and came just now. i have a feeling like im starting a new relationship. im very excited these days. im smiling always. i feel self worth. yes, im little worried that it should not go out of control. but right now its helping me to smile. so, im going to go along with it. moreover im sure no such thoughts for him, guys thoughts are very simple. so i better dont complicate things. act like a guy, and there wont be any problem. and since i have a back up for support as a partner, im not getting upset with my husband these days, we have sex often after this. yes there was a dry period for less than 2 months. and knowing my husband, who shamelessly asks for it, even though we wont talk for the whole week, and he will behave like he is angry on me, and i will be like im angry on him. yes he is a shameless person, and that makes me hate him even more. anyhow... thins is how things are now, seems complicated, but works for me. good for me...
•How is ur health?
Im not eating well, and i have reduced 5kg in last one month. i have reduced eating, the food that my MIL made, when i eat less.. i get the feeling like im insulting her. in a weird way i get happiness. its simple will she eat if i cook anything, no. her ego wont allow her, and i feel bad, like she is saying my food is not good. im doing the same to her. and since i was not smiling and about to fall into depression, i lost weight. and i look pretty sad. but thanks to my new crush and change in my job track, im happy now. im putting an effort to smile and laugh as often as possible. so im looking better and thin. good for me. i will continue to eat less. i get happiness by insulting her. i will just eat that is sufficient for me, not more.
•Currently, whats on my mind?
Im putting all my energy im preparing for interview. for that last two weeks i went to office to prepare on Saturday. this weekend since my father in law came i thought i would stay, also my husband also gets angry when i go to office. for him i should do all the household work, earn lots of money, bear child, have sex with him when ever he is getting sleep, stupid person. Anyhow i will continue my studies. and will update you often.
Bye got to go, my husband called me twice to go n help my MIL. ass hole...
i will dip his tooth brush in toilet and go n help my MIL. Bye...
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