DAY 2

Today, didnt do anything for the mission.
morning i was not able to get up, slept till 9 and then my husband dropped me till main road, then i went to office by city bus. and i came back home by 9. i changed and lied on bed for sometime. then when sunil finished eating, went and kept plate for us, and ate.
then asked her if i can keep the remaining inside the fridge, she told me how to keep...
then washed and came inside room.
now going to sleep after writing this. 

DAY 1

Hi, so I'm in the bed ready to retire for the day. I'm running high fever... but i have to note these down, else u know about my memory.
SO, i come home by 6.30 and keep asking her if i have to buy cough syrup for her and sunil and she as expected says no. then i take out the purse and say, I'm going to buy one small bottle for emergency in the house. but, classic MIL, she insist on her answer.
And then after keeping my bag inside i asked her if any vegetable is needed.. her reaction was- mmm... what? no... ya, she said it coldly. but i rubbed it from my memory.
Then i quickly get changed and go there and wash few utensils that were left. she asked me if i need coffee i can make it. well thanks for that, bitch... i say no.
Then after washing i realize that I'm not well, (me: why god why, every time i plan to do something u make me sick)
So, i sat in the sofa(hall) and then she as expected is not in home - goes out. and then she come back fast (man, is she the busiest person on earth?) so, then she takes out this atta to make alu paratha. i offer to help her make the dough, she said i will clean it and give. ME- i will clean it. then i do some work)(cleaning the dough) (not without her, superiority complex disturbing me, of course only she knows how to do a work, we all are ass holes here) and then she start to pour water in it and mixes. Me - give me i will mix it. after some attitude flying here and there and asking her couple of times, she gives it to me. ( again not without her supiriority complex) finally i finish it and closed. She of course ran off to outside. when she comes back, i asked her if i will do the paratha now, or later. She - sunil will come now, so make for him n keep. then with her interference all the time. i make 5 paratha, and when i turn, she is not there for along time. she got missed call, sunil came. but she is no where.
i start to cook it. and server him, prepare curd , peper salt. and then she says - u want to make for u guys now or later? eat hot, else it wont be nice. but my health was taking a toll of me, so anyways i say - i will make now.. and struggle to roll the paratha and when in done with 3 of them, she finishes eating and started cooking them. i made 5 for us, and told her i will continue cooking. then she went.
And then i come and sit in sofa... man i was running high fever by this time. i wear a sweater and sit.
i sit and i sit, he came by 9. and then i kept plate and we ate.. 2.5 was too much for me, and 3 was too much for him.
anyways, we finish eating, i cleaned the table, asked him if he wasn't to drink the rasam - his habit, when rice is not served. after giving him rasam. i wash utensils and clean kitchen and table.
Asked MIL if she wants Coffee or hot water - by this time, all by training was doing down and i was losing my temper. and as usual she said no with this big fucking attitude. Any ways fuck her.\
And he didn't finish his rasam. get lost man, i cant stand anymore. so i came to room to write this.

And two notes -
1. i was horribly scared for this day, well i made the plan, but i was shit sacred to execute it. i was giving myself many pep talks. I'm doing this for the country, I'm a spy, even if i die, i will die here, i will not reveal the secret-  well it means nothing just a pep talk. But my scardness could have given me fever. i was shit scraed.
2. She was going out again n again to help a lady down stair for grinding rice dough.

New Plan

So, I’m thinking about new strategy to deal with MIL

Last week, my strategy didn’t work…

It was think her as dying women, and ur mission is to get all the recipe from her before she is dead. So like no matter how she behave, just don’t give a shit and only one thing in ur mind.. learn all the recipe. And the going was getting tougher, I imagined she will be dead next week or even tomorrow. And just hold on.

But then when it became too much, my mind voice said, anyway she is dying, let her die… I will learn the recipe elsewhere, I don’t have to put up with these insults so much. I have some ego, and man this hurts so much.

And that’s why last week the scene last week. I was so angry…

 

And this week no strategy, and it was no good.

 

So, today in bus I had thought of new strategy, it is with the help of my blog…

I will record every day. Plan is for one week. For this one week, that’s is till next Monday by this time…

I will be a fresh girl. And do all the things that any person would normally do, and record my MIL reaction to it.

Ok, my action – her reaction. This is going to go in my blog for the next one whole week, and then I will plan my next strategy next Monday.

See only two things can happen –

1.       It will work

2.       It will not work

If it works, i.e my relation is becomes good and she starts to behave properly with me. Then good.

And if it didn’t work, i.e. she remains to be a pig to me, then at least I will have record of this madness. And u know, can even kill her for it. I would be justified for it.

But the key thing to this mission is, I have to be a fresh girl for like every five mins, every time I get pissed off.

Because I want me to behave normally, only then her abnormal behavior would come out and only then it could be recorded. For ex. She is coughing big time  and I offer her warm water – the worst things that she can do is, throw it and spit on my face. Then I will record it. And next time she cough any sane person will not bother to even get up. But for my mission I have to think new, like im new this place and hence would give warm water again. – if she spits again – I will record it. Not a big deal, I can hold on one week, cant i. after all this is part of a big plan.

Think like im come CID or something. Like some secret mission, some terrorist.. any crap, whose identity is not disclosed. I know I need lot of patients, I might even feel bad for myself, sorry for myself. But then just know it will be all over in 7 days. Just 7 days.

All the best in ur mission gal…

 

i keep regretting the day i said yes to this marriage...

it was like i never liked any guy, and their mother...

and when these folks showed up, i didn't like the guy.. who was sitting there and rolling his eyes, man, he was so scary... but the fucking mother was so beautiful and quite by just smiling.. she spoke not a word.

and she was so tiny.. i felt so secure. I'm generally i person who gets very intimidated by people. so when i saw her, i felt secure.. so i told myself... I'm never going to like any guy in my life... i will keep finding fault, then why not marry this one.. coz the mother looks sweet..

Man, what a mistake... i now completely understand the meaning of the phrase - looks are deceptive, and no one can tell the difference between a fool and genius when they keep their mouth shut...

God, i just have one wish, to go back to that day, and reverse the process.

OMG! i don't know, how and why I'm stuck in this house. its so suffocating in here.
I'm like chocking. die bitch, please, don't u want me to be happy.
please die soon... and be a good MIL to me.
MAN, if i cry now, like one of my teacher said... will get tears of blood... had been holding up so much till now.
god!!! please someone complement me, need one badly.. been so long when people had given me.
i do get in work.. which is OK. at least i get there. but man. like how i get in Columbus.... for my cooking, for my looks, for my caring nature, for my u know. and there could be many more for other stuff that a gal needs to hear from her spacial one.i do get in work.. which is OK. at least i get there. but man. like how i get in Columbus.... for my cooking, for my looks, for my caring nature, for my u know. and there could be many more for other stuff that a gal needs to hear from her special one.

man I'm so in a bad luck. I'm never appreciated or treated nicely. i feel so sad for me. man I'm so in a bad luck. I'm never appreciated or treated nicely. i feel so sad for me.man I'm so in a bad luck. I'm never appreciated or treated nicely. i feel so sad for me.
I'm the most sad person on earth...I'm the most sad person on earth...I'm the most sad person on earth...

Perspective,,... perspective... need to hear a bad, sad story to get a perspective, that things can be worse.

Today i can call it a day. :) its as if my MIL bowed to me. im happy. i got feeling like, i won.
So, i was totally pissed of and was no longer trying to patch up, and of course the feeling that i always had, things cant get worse than this, so, basically not scared...
So, what happened today was that MIL got hurt in her leg and couldn't walk or stand for a long time, and to top it, she had to do a big pooja with lots of cooking and to top it, she is fasting..., he he cant  get better than this.. anyway... i was helping her, but she was throwing off this attitude that i wrote in my last blog, when i stopped helping her, and came to my room, and stut myself.
After she came with her usual lecture, im sick ,u r not helping blah blah... but my reaction this time was different. i was angry and didnt lend my ears to her words. i kept reading my book. she went off.. and i=one good thing happened.. my husband supported to... thats all i knew and then i shut the door, and i didnt hear anything.... i had my cool... and kept reading...
Then i went to wash my face and went to kitchen to help her... and that bloody bitch acted as if nothing happened.. u fucking bitch... good for u...
so u accept that u were Wrong.... fucking bitch... u better bow to me.

There is only soo much that i can take for a day, sorry bitch, today's quota is over and my lid blew.
I mean what do u expect, i will keep licking ur ass, MAN the attitude that u show, bitch, and then u come back barking that i dont talk or help. FUCK you. FUCK ur attitude. i wish ur next DIL will show so much tantrum and u will suicide by urself, and then i don't have to kill u. All d best handling ur next DIL. bitch!

OOOPH!!! too much for this weekend, i had to bury my self respect deep down the shit and bear with all her attitude even then she is so bitchy. GOD i hate her, and i cant believe i got into this because of her cute face, and quite nature. Fuck, first impression. Fuck her.

This week was fun. not just fun, i felt a big explosion of happiness. as if a draught land is flooded suddenly. so much happiness. i was so happy this whole week. i felt like a 10- 15 year old girl. lost time, and other sense.
so happy. my aunt came from Canada along with their 3 kids. had the most best time of my life. and then when i came here, my MIL was not there for two days. and the happiness continued in other way, i had the whole house for myself and the independence, the control.... aaahh i missed it.. so glad i had this week in my life.
And yesterday she, the devil came. and just one look of her bloody bloating face is enough, to burst my happiness bubble. I'm amazed how did she manage to do that, just one glance, that too not directly in my eyes.

yesterday night i made beetroot halwa and she is such a bitch, treating as an untouchable. bitch, I'm waiting for the day u die. eagerly waiting for ur end. i will party like hell on that day and the days to come... to keep doing just thing... ur end is for sure near, and im glad for it... im going to see ur end. and point my finger at u and laugh. die bitch die. for all the over action that u did and made me suffer.. die, die bitch die.
hell is waiting for u.

I'm not able to find my cam cord charger. :(

Opened my laptop to write this and opened YouTube in another window and watched AR Rehman performance in nobel peace awards. And another his video. I got tears seeing his perfection. He is the true example for success. Do what u love the most, what is close to it heart and you will be successful. By default.

But something wrong with blogger site it's not opening. Not even gmail.

Tried to open blogger site a long time but with no success.

So now doing it via iPod gmail account.

Smart huh?!

Sent from my iPod

Testing email blogging

Test contents

happiness is something that i choose. And i choose happiness, no matter what.
i feel so much energy within me, and i will not die doing nothing.

still nothing

New year started and today is 8th day.
things that i do as a new year resolution for this year are:
1. i walk for about 10 min up and down for office.
2. take stairs always
3. stopped tea and coffee in office.

but i feel something is missing... not up to my standard.

MIL continues to suck, no matter what.
yesterday she gave me a lecture. and i was giving her finger, he he.. she don't understand it.. and i enjoyed the whole half an hr a lot...
i hate her so much, i never hated anybody in my life like this, and i feel sick carrying around this hatreds.
she is an ass, nothing can make her happy. she wants to complain and make faces, god... im sick of this game now, i dont want this anymore.
she is not feeling well... well i cant say if she is acting or really she is not well, but every weekend she has to fall sick and make some scene at house.
fuck her, she is a bitch. hey asshole, u want to work like an ass, then do with pleasure, dont trouble me.

god i couldnt think about anything else these days..
with someone at home, to take care of all the work, i can very well do something useful, like prepare for interview, do a correspondence course to get a master degree. but fuck her, good for nothing bitch.

i really feel sick today, i definitely didnt start blogging to write about her. i wanted to channel my thoughts, since it so bizzard and im not doing anything. i have been reading a big book - 1000 pages for more than a month now, and its still not complete.

God i want to quit my company so bad. please make this happen soon... i cant hold it.